Annoyed

So, here's my first vent.

A friend of mine, let's refer to her as DD, has always made bad choices as far as her personal life (read love life) is concerned. It's none of my business, but as her friend, I've been there to support her and listen to her. Sometimes, I've had to bite my tongue and other times I shared my thoughts in [what I think is] a positive way.

I don't want to go into too many details, but in her current situation, I kept my mouth shut for the most part because the last time I was honest with her, she stopped talking to me for 2 years and then only came back after he cheated on her and left her. This time, it has been really difficult for me to not say anything, but I didn't want to risk her getting that upset with me again.

Well, the other night I finally had some time for myself since DH was doing his own thing and Baby was asleep, so I was going to relax on the sofa and catch up on some of my fave tv shows on the tivo when the phone rang. It was DD. I should have just let the voice-mail pick up, but I knew she was down and needed to talk since her last 'relationship' didn't work out.

So, we talked and I finally shared my perspective with her in a way that I was proud of. I kept the focus on her, told her what a kind and generous heart she has and that she really deserved to be loved and to have a man love her so much that he would do what it takes to make her happy. I'm trying to be purposely vague here because I don't want to air all the dirty laundry.

Anyway, I really put myself out there and told her that I was cautious about sharing my thoughts with her because of what happened the last time (7 or 8 years ago!). I thought we really connected and she actually started tearing up and admitted that she had some self-esteem issues and she wanted to work on them, but didn't know how and I told her that I was there for her and that we would get through this together.

2 days later, she posts on her blog that her well-meaning friends don't have a clue and that her self-esteem is better than it's ever been, her 'ex' is more than good enough for her and even though it's over, she'll be just fine thank-you-very-much.

I never said or implied that he wasn't good enough for her and I always prefaced everything I said with, "I know that I wasn't in the relationship, so I can't know all the details and emotions involved.." And now I feel like I've been virtually slapped in the face.

Suffice it to say, I have removed the subscription to her blog from my reader and I am taking a break. But I'm struggling to figure out how to addresse this.

DH is very wise and gently reminds me that I can't teach anyone anything if they don't want to learn and that I can't change her, I can only take care of me. I agree and understand all of that. I should be happy that I was able to say what I felt I needed to say and leave it at that, but for some reason, I am very irked. I wanted to help her, but I guess she doesn't want to be helped.

Any thoughts?